Michelle D. Gladieux. Communicate with Courage. Berrett-Koehler, 2022.

During my teaching career, I came across a study which asked people about their fears. Although I no longer recall the specific source, I often have shared the results with my students. People’s number one fear has consistently been speaking in public. More people fear that than fear death or spiders. Communicate with Courage should help its readers overcome that fear. It takes a different approach to public speaking.

The author is a consultant who not only often is asked to be a speaker, but she has learned from her experience how to help others become more effective communicators. This book focuses on four areas that from her experience hinder people the most from speaking up and sharing their ideas in ways that others can understand and appreciate.

First we must understand that we are vulnerable. The reason people often do not share is that they are revealing something about themselves. If people do no react in a way we like, it could make us feel worse. The author points out, simply, that courage confronts our vulnerabilities. If there were no vulnerability or sense of exposure, we would not need courage. So, face it.

She gives some techniques to help including one that in the short run may make us even more vulnerable; namely, ask trusted people what we can do to improve ourselves or do a better job. Not only may the advice we receive be an encouragement, but the act of asking can make us more courageous.

Lest this sound unrealistically sanguine, we are told specifically that “Optimism requires us to hope for the best, to be vulnerable, to expose ourselves to potential losses” (11). She lists a number of ways to “improve our outlook” including developing a personal mission statement and sending others notes of encouragement.

Second, we must understand that risk means change. In the author’s business as a consultant, she has understood that when she is hired, people are not only looking for something to change but also may be reluctant to change certain things. That means that to take a risk, we must face our fears. It also means that we must be able to relate to others and find out what everyone may have in common. Sometimes defining what is right can get us into trouble. Effective communicating can defuse this.

Third, we must find the hidden challenges. To make ourselves vulnerable, we must discover things we did not know before. What challenges will there be to making our communication effective? Courage comes partly from experience. Identify what we want to change, and understand that that involves risk. You do not have to be right all the time. Learn from mistakes as well as successes.

Fourth, we must beware of settling for “good enough.” That usually involves rationalizing.

The chapter on biases can be particularly helpful. From our varied experiences, we all have developed biases. Let us confront those and overcome biases that hinder our ability to work with others. The author shares her own experience of working with a professional athlete. She assumed he would want her to do all the work since his area of expertise was something different. She was mistaken. She should have realized that the work ethic needed to become a professional athlete would be manifest in other areas as well:

I’m sharing this with you because (1) admitting my bias is an exercise in vulnerability, and (2) so I am less likely to prejudge someone again based on their achievements or lack thereof. (94)

The chapter on conflict is enlightening. Many times conflict can be used to create positive results. Conflict can show us what problems really exist and then can lead us to solving the problem. As I read this I was reminded of a statement by historian Shelby Foote in Ken Burns’ classic video series on the Civil War. He said that America’s genius was the ability to compromise. So Ms. Gladieux tells us:

America’s founders…had the genius to establish the first form of government in which conflict and tension were understood not as the enemies of a good social order but the engines of a better social order. (82)

She shares something that any good teacher has to accept sooner or later. I recall being told one time that even Jesus could only please eleven out of twelve. She describes her reaction to what a mentor told her once:

“They don’t have to like you; they have to learn from you. Make d———n well sure they learn something from you.” Sweet, sweet perspective! Most of us want to be liked, but it’s a Pro Move to consider the cost of the popularity contests we find ourselves joining. (104, author’s italics)

At the end of every chapter, the author gives some brief actions to take. She calls the first a Pro Move, that is, an idea or reflection that we should embrace to help us gain courage. That explains the italicized term in the above quotation. The second is simply some kind of simple exercise to put that Pro Move into action.

Communicate with Courage does balance things. There is a chapter devoted to risks we should not take such as working with manipulative or unethical people, avoiding feedback, staying in a negative employment situation too long, telling a joke that could be considered an insult, nagging, and sharing confidential information.

That last is something I found helped establish my credibility as a teacher. In some creative writing classes, I had students keep a journal in which they were required to write ten minutes a day. They could write about anything. I told them that I had been a sailor, so I have heard much stronger language than any of them could imagine. I will not be offended at any word choices. I also promised not to share anything they wrote in the journal without their permission.

The one exception, I told them, was that there was a state law that required teachers to report a student if they thought the student was suicidal. To the best of my knowledge to this day I have kept silent on things I read in those journals. Even in the cases of adhering to the state law, I told the student what I would have to do. They understood.

We are also reminded that sometimes we have to confront people we like with problems. However, “If you take the slightest pleasure in it, that is the time to hold your tongue” (114). So, yes, sometimes being a courageous communicator means not saying anything.

Being courageous means taking risks. But as someone said, ”A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there” (124, author’s italics).

Communicate with Courage has inspired this writer. I have been sitting on an essay to post, but I was concerned that it might not be well received. I have been persuaded now that I should post it. I have one more fact to check, but when that is done, I will post. Thank you Professor Gladieux. (N.B.: It took a while to confirm the fact-checking, but here it is—“Why 2020 Was a Lot Like 1969.”