Lee Goldberg and Andy Breckman. Mr. Monk is Cleaned Out. Obsidian, 2010.

It seems like recently we have been reading some novels with television tie-ins. In the case of the Hamish Macbeth stories, the television show is adapted from the novels. In this Monk mystery, the novel is a spinoff of the popular television series. Lee Goldberg is one of the writers for the Monk TV show, and he contributed to this book.

Former detective Adrian Monk needs no explanation to anyone who has seen the television show. He is a paranoid obsessive-compulsive who notices things that others do not. That makes him paranoid when it comes to cleanliness. It also makes him a very good detective.

In Mr. Monk is Cleaned Out, Monk actually solves a couple of crimes that have nothing to do with the main plot. Echoing Sherlock Holmes’ “The Red-Headed League,” Monk notices dirt on the knees of a couple of people in a shopping mall. Anyone familiar with the Holmes story can anticipate what happens.

The story begins as a witness in Madoff-type Ponzi scheme is murdered. What is remarkable about the murder is that the witness is driving to court alone in his own car and being followed by a police car. He is strangled while waiting at a stop light. The police see no one, and there is no one else in the car: a tiny closed room mystery with only the victim.

Soon, two other witnesses who worked for Bob Sebes, the man arrested for bilking many people out of billions of dollars, are also murdered. One looks like suicide until Monk shows why it could not be. All are quite mysterious. The main suspect, Mr. Sebes, is under house arrest with an ankle monitor. His house is under surveillance not only by police but by reporters. It is obvious he has not left his house.

To Monk this is personal. The book gets its title because Monk is cleaned out. He had invested nearly all his money in Sebes’ fund. Why? Monk said he was the best, not because of any financial prowess, but because his name, his wife Anna’s name, and even the name of the fund, the Reinier Fund, are all palindromes. Monk, of course, appreciates the balance. It is level, he says. Level itself is a palindrome.

There are many humorous episodes involving Monk’s compulsions and paranoia. Although this is a clever crime and detective novel, what makes it stand out is Adrian Monk’s character. Monk is convinced he is going to die of dehydration because the only water he drinks is a bottled water whose company has gone out of business. He discovers this in a conversation with a grocery store manager that goes something like this. Arthur, the manager, tells him:

“There’s other bottled water. [Heck,] you could just turn on the tap and drink from there.”

That remark was so offensive to Monk that it actually stopped his head shaking and hand waving. He looked Arthur in the eye.

“I would rather drink my own sweat but that won’t be possible,” Monk said, “because I will be dying of dehydration.”

“Have juice,” Arthur said. “Or milk.”

“Milk? Do you know where milk comes from?”

“Cows,” Arthur said.

“Are you suggesting I should drink that?”

“Why not?”

“It’s another animal’s bodily fluids. Maybe I should lap up some cow pee while I am at it, too. Or some dog drool. How about a cool, delicious glass of pig mucus? Mmm, that sounds good.” (6)

Typical Monk. For most of the story he is conserving what bottles of water he still has at home by taking a teaspoon at a time. He is convinced he is dying. When he tells a cross-dresser that he should not be wearing women’s clothes—the story is set in San Francisco, after all—the man accuses him of being a homophobe. Monk tells him, “I’m a totalphobe.”

The story is told by Natalie Teeger, Monk’s personal assistant. She has her own problems. The story is set in the 2008 economic downturn. When Monk is cleaned out, he cannot pay her, and as a widowed mother, she is barely making ends meet. We see the two of them trying their hands at different jobs. Needless to say, Monk’s people skills are wanting. This makes for complications that, at least to the reader if not Natalie, are pretty funny. Monk does not like pizzas with toppings applied randomly. He uses a compass and applies the toppings in concentric circles.

Monk’s even stranger brother, Ambrose, makes an appearance in Mr. Monk is Cleaned Out. From Ambrose’s perspective, brother Adrian takes great risks. After all, he goes outdoors. Ambrose makes a living via mail and computer writing manuals for all kinds of appliances and businesses. It turns out he wrote the manual for the ankle monitor Mr. Sebes is using. When hoarder Ambrose is reluctant to part with old newspapers so brother Adrian can do some research, Adrian reminds him who taught him how to iron newspapers…

At bottom, then, are crimes upon crimes: a Ponzi scheme followed by at least three murders. Due to the economy, the police cannot hire consultants, so both Natalie and Monk are working gratis. Still, we enjoy how Monk outwits a very clever criminal and how Natalie helps them make ends meet. Mr. Monk is Cleaned Out is a lot of fun.